The Word 6/The Word 6.adf/FiLeS/SelfSurgery.txt/SelfSurgery.txt

Text File | 2022-11-05 | 13KB | 286 lines

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|This is sick!


|Read it at your peril!



I  once  chopped  pieces of foreskin off my penis with a pair of cuticle
scissors.

     Now  that  I've got your attention, I'll go back and tell the whole
story.  Apologies if it gets a little lengthy, but this yarn deserves to
be spun well.

|Background



After  I  was  circumcised as an infant, the wound was not taken care of
with  sufficient  diligence, and it healed incorrectly.  Portions of the
raw  edge  of  the  remaining foreskin bonded to the glans, a little bit
above  the  lower  edge  of  the  glans.   This  left  a series of "skin
bridges",  basically  sections  of  foreskin  which  can't be retracted,
because  they  are  fused  to  the glans at one end and the shaft at the
other.   These  varied  in  width  from  about  1/16"  to 1/4", and were
attached off and on over about 2/3 of the circumference.

This  was  never  a  major  problem.   It  was a long time before I even
realized  it  was  abnormal.   Everything functioned properly, but there
were  a  few  minor  problems with it which made me wish I could fix it.
Mainly,

1.  It was a cosmetic defect -- it didn't look good.

2.  It  was  tough  to keep clean under the bridges -- I had to swab it
    with a Q-tip now and then to knock down smegma buildup.

3.  Some of the most sensitive parts of the glans were hidden under
    relatively insensitive chunks of foreskin, robbing me of the proper
    stimulation which was mine and every man's birthright.

Over  the past few years, I'd been thinking of getting it corrected, but
there  were  problems.   Doctors  cost  money, and I didn't have it, and
student insurance sure wasn't gonna cover it.  Plus, the thought of some
strange doctor chopping at my peepeehead gives me chills.

     Now,  all  a  doctor  would do is sterilize it, numb it, cut it and
bandage  it.   "Hell, maybe I can do that!", I thought.  The problem was
how  to  kill  the  pain.   I  experimented with cutting myself (with an
x-acto  knife), but seeing as it always hurt like hell before I even cut
anything, I never went through with it.

     Recently,  I  came  back  and  studied  the  situation.  Again, the
problem with the self-surgery approach was dealing with pain.  There had
to be some way of numbing the area, but how?  One winter day, it hit me.
If  cold can make fingers go numb, then cold can also make a ManTool[tm]
go numb.  With this in mind, I pioneered a the "home penile self-surgery
procedure".

SURGERY KIT

Cuticle scissors        (1 pair)
Rubbing alcohol         (1 bottle)
Antibiotic ointment     (1 tube)
Anti-bacterial soap     (1 bottle)
Gauze pads              (lots, various sizes)
Ice cubes               (iodine added to water for sterility)
Clean Washcloth         (freshly laundered with lots'o bleach)
Well-lit work area      (the kitchen table)

|Procedure



Wipe down work area with alcohol.  Clean penis with soap and water, then
with alcohol.  Wash hands thoroughly.  Soak scissors in alcohol.

Holding  the  ice  cube with the washcloth (to prevent your fingers from
going  numb),  apply  the ice cube to the target area.  Hold for 5 to 10
minutes, until area is numb.

Using the cuticle scissors, sever the skin bridge as closely as possible
to  its  connection  with the glans.  Then sever the foreskin end of the
bridge in such a location as to leave an even edge on the foreskin.

Use  gauze  pads  and  direct  pressure to stop the bleeding, then apply
antibiotic ointment and bandage.

|The Operations



Though  the  operations  are  not painful if done correctly, the healing
process  is  a  real  pain in the ass.  It also takes a certain state of
mind  to be able to cut your own flesh.  I would kind of put myself into
robo-man zombie mode for the operations, in that I never dwelled on what
I  was  doing, I just mechanically plodded through all the steps without
thinking about how totally gross it was.

     Since  the  ice  cube could only numb a small portion of the penis,
and  since  I  could  only  tolerate  so  much  trauma to my dick in one
session,  it  took  6  separate  operations,  spread out over a two week
period, to cut/remove all of the skin bridges.

|Operation #1 (Day 1)



     The  test  cut.   I  chose  a  small  thin skin bridge, about 1/16"
across.   I  held  the  ice  cube  on  for  5 minutes.  The ice caused a
peculiar  kind  of "cold ache", but it wasn't that bad.  I gingerly made
the  cuts, and sliced through with no pain at all.  There was some minor
bleeding, but because of the speed at which I worked, I had finished and
had  the  gauze  on  it  before  the  wound  had  any  chance  to  bleed
significantly.   After  about  10 minutes the bleeding was stopped and I
bandaged  it  up,  no problem at all.  Only a tiny little speck of flesh
had been removed, rather unimpressive looking.

|Operation #2 (Day 3)



     Operation  #1 turned out so well, I decided to go for big game this
time.   The target was the mother of all skin bridges, about 1/4" across
and  very  thick  and meaty.  Again, I made the preparations and applied
ice for 5 minutes.

     I made the first cut along the glans, and was surprised at how much
I  had  to bear down on the scissors.  This skin was surprisingly tough.
I  finished  that  cut,  and  then turned my attention to the cut on the
foreskin  side.   Wanting  to  get  it  done quickly, I decided that two
large, powerful snips should do the job.  I bore down and made the first
cut, and realized with a shock that IT HURT LIKE HELL.

     Well,  it turns out that due to the thickness of the skin bridge on
that  end,  the cold hadn't penetrated deeply enough, and it hadn't gone
numb.   So,  I  was  left  with  a problem.  I had a half severed bit of
foreskin  hanging  off  me,  and no anesthetic.  My only recourse was to
finish the cut.  I thought, "Shit.  This will hurt.".  So I lined up the
scissors,  closed  my  eyes, and as quickly and powerfully as I could, I
made  the  snip.  My prediction was correct; it did hurt (don't you hate
when you're right about things like that?).  I managed to avoid shouting
out, instead opting for a few simple gasps and whimpers.

I resolved to hold the ice on for much longer in future operations.

Being  that  this  was  a  bigger  cut than the first, it bled much more
profusely.   It  took  about  20 minutes of direct pressure and a lot of
gauze  until  I  could  staunch the main flow.  Even then it kept oozing
blood  for a few hours.  I spent the rest of the evening with nothing on
below  the  waist,  sitting  in  front  of the TV with a few brews (this
became  standard  procedure for all forthcoming operations).  Any motion
tended  to  make  it  break open and bleed again, so I moved around very
little.   I  was functioning (that is, walking) almost normally again by
the  next  day,  but  it  took  about  5 days before this one completely
stopped oozing blood.

      As  I  gingerly  hobbled back into the kitchen for another brew, I
spotted  IT,  the  severed hunk-o-foreskin that I had left on the table.
It  was  of fairly good size, about 1/2" by 1/4" and maybe as thick as a
piece  of  bacon.   Suddenly,  strange  thoughts entered my skull, and a
raging mental battle between good and evil ensued.

EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."
GOOD: "Don't do it!!  That's gross!!"
EVIL: "Eat the foreskin."
GOOD: "Stop thinking about it!!"
EVIL: "You know what you must do.  Eat it.  It is your
       destiny."
GOOD: "But that's cannibalism!"
EVIL: "So what?"
GOOD: "Cannibalism is shunned for a reason!  It spreads
       diseases!"
EVIL: "Look dipshit.  It's your own fucking flesh.  Any
       diseases in there, you already got."
GOOD: "But it's SELF-cannibalism!"
EVIL: "So is chewing on the piece of skin you bit off your
       fingertip.  BFD."
GOOD: "But this is weird, deranged and perverted!"
EVIL: "Exactly"
GOOD: (Hauls its sorry whupped ass away and shuts up)

So,  I  ate  it.   Turns  out  it was very tough and chewy, kind of like
biting  a  little  piece  of  rubber.  I chewed for about 5 minutes, but
didn't make any progress on breaking it down, so I swallowed it.  It had
a  little  bit of blood flavor at first, but after that it had no flavor
at  all;  rather  disappointing  in  that  respect.  Maybe I should have
cooked it.

|Operation #3 (Day 10)



     A medium sized cut.  I held the ice cube on much longer (10 minutes
instead  of  5),  so there was no problem with pain.  Not nearly as much
bleeding, but still a respectable amount.

     A  word about erections:  they were a bad thing.  Any hard-on would
tear  the  wounds  open  and start them bleeding again.  This would be a
problem  for about 3 or 4 days until the wounds had healed sufficiently.
Basically,  I  had  to  spend  a long, long time without even thinking a
nasty  thought.   Of course, when I was asleep I had no control over the
process, which would always result in me waking up with a dick that hurt
and bloody bandages.  I was really lovin' life at moments like these.

|Operation #4 (Day 12)



     Another  medium  sized  cut,  but  with the added bonus of having a
small  vein  (about  1  mm in diameter) running through the skin bridge.
Now,  the  blood  supply for the penis mainly runs through blood vessels
buried  deep  inside.   When  you  get  down  the the small vessels, the
circulatory  system  becomes  more  of a spiderweb, with redundant paths
going to every point.  So I knew it wasn't actually dangerous to cut it,
but  it was still a kind of psychological obstacle.  I expected this one
to  be a heavy bleeder, and I wasn't disappointed.  It took about a full
hour of direct pressure to get the severed ends of the vein to close up.
Otherwise, not too much of a problem.

|Operation #5 (Day 14)



     I  was  planning  on  more  time to let the others heal, but due to
changes  in  the  way  skin  tension  was being applied to the remaining
bridges (because I'd cut some others away), one small bridge was getting
a  lot  of stress and starting to hurt.  So I chopped it quick and easy,
no real problems.

|Operation #6 (Day 15)



     The  problem  with  operation  #5  was that it just transferred the
stress  to  the  next  bridge down the line.  So even though I had about
3/4"  of  flesh left to cut, I resolved to do it all at once in one last
cutting frenzy.

Due  to  the size of the operation, it took a while to complete (maybe 1
minute  total),  which gave the blood a chance to flow.  I had to stop a
few  times  and  wipe  away  blood  so  I  could  see  what I was doing.
Strangely,  this  didn't  bother  me at all.  It seemed perfectly normal
that  I  should  be  wiping  up copious amounts of blood flowing from my
bleeding  pecker  which  I  had sliced open myself.  Actually, it seemed
kind  of  cool at the time, which led me to speculate at the time that I
had gone insane, which I also thought was pretty cool.

Anyway,  except  for the excess blood which had dripped on to the chair,
it  went quite well.  The only thing that really grossed me out was when
I  noticed I had blood all over my hands.  If any psychoanalysts want to
analyze that tidbit for me, feel free, though I really don't care.

The wounds are now completely healed, and the results are good.  Mainly:

1.  There are no scars to speak of, just a few bumps on the glans.  This
is  because  I  didn't trim the flesh quite close enough in a few spots.
They  kind  of  resembling little warts.  I thought about going back and
trimming  them  off,  but  I  kind of like 'em now.  After all, it's not
everyone who has the privilege of appearing to have warts, with actually
being diseased.

2.   Without the skin tension holding things back, total dick length has
increased  by  1/4".   (Of  course  I've measured the length of my dick.
Like you haven't?)

3.   It's  a  great  topic for dinnertime conversation.  Women generally
seem to find it quite interesting.  Men generally turn kind of pale.

With  my  newfound  surgical  skills, I've been contemplating a few more
self-surgical  procedures.   You  know, mole removal, wart removal, nose
jobs, the whole vista of cosmetic surgery.  I'll need some help for that
mole  on  my  back,  which  means training an assistant.  Ah, the future
looks interesting indeed

     Greg     Bernath
[e-mail]

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